Just Another Day In Paradise!

Our Christmas Card

2011-12-14T09:48:00.000-08:00

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New year

Bubba, Goose and Bear

Many people write a family update and put it in their Christmas card. I didn't think of it in time this year so I decided to write one on our blog. I really enjoy reading family updates, whether it's someone I see often or someone I only hear from every once in awhile. It's always nice to hear how others are doing and growing. So on with our update.....

Our family has been richly blessed this year. 2011 was good to us and we are so grateful. We went to Disney World in June and then went back to Florida in July to spend a week on the beaches. We feel so blessed to have been able to take not one but two great vacations this year. On March 7th our foster son of two and a half years went home to live with his parents. Although it was very difficult to see him leave we are so grateful we still get to see him and be involved in his life. We have decided to take a break from doing foster care, a decision that was not easy but best for our family at this time.

Goose is almost 8 and in second grade. She is working so hard and enjoys school immensely. She especially loves her art class where she has become quite the budding artist. This fall she completed a round of swim lessons and continues to improve her skills. Goose joined Brownies this year and is having a blast with her friends earning badges. She has turned into such a girly girl when it comes to clothes and accessories. She already has an affinity for the clothing store Justice. Bubba is 5 and in kindergarten. He is doing an amazing job and loves school as well. He has made many great friends and is learning so much. I can hardly believe he has started reading. He played soccer again this fall and did great. In January he will start basketball and is looking forward to having his big dad coach. He loves Star Wars and the Super Mario Brothers, he can talk endlessly about these two subjects, just ask him.

Jeremy is still the math department chair at Leyden High School. This is his 5th year teaching at Leyden and his 12th year teaching all together. He has enjoyed coaching soccer for Bubba and is looking forward to coaching basketball in January. Jeremy serves on the board of Trustees at our church and is also a member of the finance committee. He stays busy providing for our family and just being an all around great dad and husband.

Kerry is an "at home mom" this year and is loving it. She volunteers regularly at the kid's school and loves being involved. She is a room mom for both kids. Kerry teaches Sunday School at our church each week and enjoys having both Goose and Bubba in her class. She continues to serve on our church's board of Session and headed up the Nominating committee this year as well.

After 5 years without a dog we decided on a whim to bring home an adorable 10 week old Cocker Spaniel Cavalier King Charles puppy. Kerry had been thinking about getting a dog and was combing the shelter and rescue web pages. Jeremy said we should "put a pin in it" until this summer (which made sense.) While attending a friends bridal shower and discovering there were several puppies that needed a home we decided to move up the arrival date. The kids are so happy with our new addition and Mom and Dad are enjoying him as well. We feel so blessed to all be healthy and to have a roof over our head, food in our bellies and clothes on our back. We pray that 2012 will be just as blessed and hope that each of you has had a great year and many more to come.

A puppy, Thanksgiving and putting up our tree.....

2011-11-25T13:48:00.000-08:00

We got a puppy! Last Sunday I went to a bridal shower for my friend and ended up bringing home a puppy. He is a nine week old Cocker Spaniel, Caviler King Charles mix. Christmas has come early at our house.

Our Bear

Next up was Thanksgiving. We celebrated with my family and it was a great day. Jeremy once again made an amazing feast. Bubba could not wait to dig into this turkey.

After Thanksgiving we always put up our Christmas tree.

Some lights seem to be not working.

Almost done.

Goose and our tree

Bubba and our tree.

November is National Adoption Awareness Month

2011-11-06T16:42:00.000-08:00

This will be the first year I'm going to take the month of November to write about adoption in honor adoption awareness month. I follow many blogs that feature other adoptive and foster families and I have been inspired by the blogging community to express my thoughts and muses about adoption. It's really fitting that this month brings awareness of adoption and foster care due to the increased amount of time I have been thinking about the adoption of my children.

I have spent the last 10 years of my life eating, breathing, and sleeping adoption. At the age of 24 when my husband I learned that having biological kids was not going the way we planned we quickly started researching adoption. We both felt that adoption was the way we were going to form our family. At first it seemed like an insurmountable task. How would we afford it was of course the first question. Then there was the endless amount of information available on types of adoption: domestic, international, infant, special needs, sibling groups, and foster care. Once you narrow that down you have to research agencies and or attorneys to help facilitate the process. After finding the right path to travel down you enter into the land of non stop paperwork and once that's done you're on your way to receiving a referral of a child. Easy right?

This process can take months and months for some people. I was highly motivated, because we had done the unthinkable (didn't know that at the time) and found a baby on a photo listing before completing any of the other steps, and got together everything we needed to complete and international adoption in just under three months. Our beautiful baby girl joined our family after a total of 5 months. Adoption made it possible for me to be a mother, ten years ago I wondered if that was going to be possible.

We first met our daughter when she was 8 weeks old when we visited her in Guatemala.

Our daughter is almost eight and we have a 5 year old son who was also adopted from Guatemala. They are the light of our lives, I couldn't have imagined more beautiful, funny, spunky, loving children if God had let me take the drivers seat myself. I'm so glad he didn't.

Meeting our son for the first time when he was 8 weeks old.

Adoption today means something totally different then it did 10 years ago. As we live our lives raising our children the impact of adoption is present everyday. It has presented challenges I never dreamed of (although I should have,) and joys that have forever changed my heart. I praise God everyday for allowing me to parent these two amazing children. Adoption isn't right for everyone but for us anything else would seem wrong.

Happy Halloween!

2011-11-01T06:22:00.000-07:00

Daddy carved this awesome pumpkin.

I was the parent helper at Bubba's school. Here he is with is buddy "Iron Man."

The craft center.

The parent helpers had to dress up too.

The snack center.

Boo Bingo

Mummy race.

Next Goose came home for lunch and changed into her costume.

Bobo Fett shooting Cleopatra

She loved her eye makeup.

The school parade

Finally time to trick-or-treat.

After a long day of fun, daddy tries to steal the candy.

Fall Photo Shoot

2011-10-28T18:18:00.000-07:00

I decided to do our fall photo shot myself this year to save money. After school today I took the kids across the street for 20 minutes and these are some of the best shots of our mini session.

Shots of just Goose

Love this one

She is beautiful

Love that smile

Now Bubba....

So handsome

Great shot

My favorite

And last but not least both of them....

they are too much

And then some of the beautiful tress.

Not bad for an amature....

Grandparent's day

2011-10-26T10:06:00.000-07:00

Spooktacular, Soccer and Field Trip

2011-10-25T10:40:00.000-07:00

At Spooktackular with the White Sox's mascot.

Check out Goose's face and Bubba's hands.

Now Bubba is going to give it a try.

Man she's got an arm.

End of the fall soccer season. Coach dad handing out medals.

Bubba and his friend

With the Coach

The whole team.

I was able to chaperon Bubba's field trip to Goebbert's Farm.

On the hayride.

With Scooby (these are the kids I was responsible for.)

Picking out his pumpkin

Morning and Afternoon Kindergarten.

2 months into school......

2011-10-13T07:08:00.000-07:00

I can't believe the kids have been back at school for two months now. Time is literally flying by. Things have been going really well and our little family of four is settling in nicely. Goose is working so hard at school. She has been motivated and willing to work with us each evening practicing her reading and math. We too have been working hard advocating for her with the school district. This year she received a 504 plan and after several meetings with the school she has some much needed accommodations to help her succeed. I'm already seeing a huge difference in her anxiety, reducing our family schedule has provided her with a sense of security as well as some much needed down time. Right now she does swimming for a half hour on Friday nights as well as Brownies every other Friday. This means that Monday through Thursday we have nothing on our schedule. We can come home and she has time to play, relax, and even invite friends over (which of course she loves.) We pushed their bedtime back to 8:00 p.m. (which is still really hard for us sense our evening routine goes so smooth.) Most evenings they are in bed by 7:30. Each night we have time for homework without feeling rushed and we eat dinner together as a family without feeling rushed and then we can spend time together before bed. It wasn't an easy decision to take a break from therapy or to pull the kids out of a wonderful program at our church midweek, but we really felt like this was what she needed. Swimming is coming to an end so we told her she had the option of signing up again or she could choose to do something else like gymnastics or karate. She has expressed an interest in playing basketball so we told her that would be a great activity to commit to in January. I wasn't even thinking about having her participate in Brownies (we tried it in kindergarten but she didn't like it) but most of her friends are in it so we felt like it was a great way for her to socialize with her friends outside of school. Its also a great program and will have her selling the best cookies ever.

Bubba is doing great in kindergarten. I get to work in his classroom a couple times a month and it amazes me how well he does. I'm not really sure what I expected. He is after all my baby and has a speech delay that often times fools one into thinking he is younger then he is. But even his speech is coming along so well. He is making tons of friends and wants to have play dates all the time. He is learning so much and loves coming home and doing his "homework." His fall soccer season is ending soon. He has been a trooper this season. I don't really think soccer is his favorite but he goes each week and does his best. A lot of his friends are on the team and his dad is the coach so I'm sure that's his big motivator. We are going to sign him up for swimming next, which he loves. He continues to go to physical therapy once a week and is working on building his core muscle strength, endurance and balance. It's hard work for him but he is doing really well. He continues to be obsessed with Star Wars, and can't get enough of playing the Wii.

We have been busy enjoying all that fall has to offer, pumpkin patches, fun fairs, pumpkin carving, falling leaves, apples, and so much more. The weather has been amazing so the kids have been able to play outside for the last two weeks. Soon enough there will be snow on the ground and Christmas will be on everyones mind. I've even started some shopping. Sometimes I wish time would slow down. I miss the toddler stage and long for the days I held my children in my arms. I can still hold them and do, but as they are getting bigger it doesn't last as long because they have important things to do. I want them to stay little for as long as possible.

Soccer, Star Wats, Walkathon, Berry Pickin and the Pumpkin Patch. Not in that order.

2011-10-10T14:06:00.000-07:00

Garden Patch Farms. We went early this year and did some berry picking.

Homer Glenn farm days

My Westmore Wildcats

Bubba is really starting to get into soccer.

Star Wars night at the ballpark.

We even got to go on the field.

Our annual trip to Bengston's Farm. Baby boy came for the day and we had a blast.

I can't believe how big they are all getting.

All aboard!

I told them to look sad.

Bubba's pumpkin.

Another play date with Baby boy

2011-08-26T13:03:00.000-07:00

Back to school

2011-08-26T11:56:00.000-07:00

The kids are back to school and this year I didn't feel that sense of urgency to get them out of the house. We had a great summer that included two vacations, lots of festivals, pool time, and family. It was a pretty relaxing summer, with just two kids. Last summer I had four and some days were not pretty. What a difference a year can make. Both kids are doing really well so we have great expectations for the school year. We also have lots of worries. Goose started second grade with much anticipation.

She was also pretty anxious. We have spent the last two weeks talking about going back to school, what it will be like having to be away from mommy. The night before school started she did really well. I waited for the bedtime drama but it never came. Dropping her off at school I kissed and hugged her, reminded her that I would be back at the end of the day and walked away. All day I worried about her. I kept lifting her up in prayer asking God to help her with her worried feelings. I was there waiting when school let out and was so happy to see the big smile on her face. She had a great day. Thank you Lord for being there with my baby when I couldn't be. Goose has come a long way and so far seems to be transitioning well. This fall we are only having the kids do one activity at a time to help bring some calm and peace to our lives when the kids come home from school. I'm praying that this will be a blessing in our lives, the slower pace, more time as a family and an all around feeling of security. I'm so proud of my not so little girl!

Bubba started kindergarten and has been so ready all summer. He hasn't seemed the least bit scared and did awesome the first day. I thought for sure I would be a ball of tears but watching him, so confident and excited helped me to feel so at peace as his little feet carried him into school.

He is doing great and loving school. He's making friends and growing up way to fast. He will continue to receive speech services this year and has started a round of physical therapy to help gain some much needed core body strength. He is such a special little man who I know is going to do great this year.

I'm at home full time with no other work obligations to bog me down and it feels really great. I'm teaching sunday school, serving on the nominating committee at our church, singing in our praise band and really enjoying some time to myself. I'm really excited to get involved in both kids classrooms and get to know the kids they spend 6 hours with five days a week. I've also started cooking dinner every night (I know most of you have been doing that for years) but anyone who knows me well realizes this is a pretty big deal. My husband has been doing most of the cooking for years. He's better at it, enjoys it more and let's face it has a larger interest in food. But this year I decided to take that burden off of him (about time) and have been preparing the meals each night. It hasn't been met with much applause yet by any of us (except the husband ) which only solidifies why I wasn't doing it in the first place. But carry on I must. Maybe I'll even learn to like it.

Florida

2011-08-07T16:44:00.000-07:00

After traveling 21 hours and 21 minutes we made it.

Soon after we arrived we headed to the ocean.

The boys

We made it!

The next day we headed out to Barefoot Beach in Bonita Springs.

Playing in the sand

Loving the water

That evening we took a boat tour to see alligators and manatees.

On day three we went to

Bubba loved snorkeling

A beautiful view

Goose snorkled too

After a long day of swimming we got ice cream on the pier

On day 4 we went back to Naples

Feeding the giraffes.

They have 17 alligators at the zoo and they do several feeding shows a day.

Snow cones

Gooses favorite animal

I liked this sign.

Next up......

And then on to Marco Island's Tigertail Beach

And then back to Barefoot Beach

The actual nest.

Beautiful sunsets

Lover's Key State Park

Goose found this starfish

She also found this horse shoe crab

More snorkling

This is their sand snowman

Our final day we went back to Barefoot beach

This was an amazing trip......

Red Witch Sail Boat

2011-07-17T15:16:00.000-07:00

Waiting at the pier.

The girls

Me and the Captain

A view from when we set off.

Sailing

Will helps pull up the sails.

Mary and Grant

Will and Bridget

Chicago Skyline

Nancy and Will

2011-07-14T20:15:00.000-07:00

Starved Rock State Park

Picnic lunch

Illinois River

Hiking

Where Jeremy and I got engaged 12 years ago

Waterfall

All done and heading home.

4th of July and Summer swim lessons

2011-07-05T17:35:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July!

Diva!

Swim Lessons

Bubba Level 3

Chillin

Ready to Jump

Working on diving in

Good job!

Kicking on the wall

Goose

Level 4

Summer Fun

2011-07-04T12:13:00.000-07:00

Taste of Lombard

Rides, Rides and more Rides

Lisle Eyes to the Sky

Bubba turns 5!

2011-06-18T10:54:00.000-07:00

Here's the birthday boy

At his Enchanted Castle Party

Playing on the bounce houses

Bubba and his friend Jake

His daddy made this awesome Angry Birds cake.

Blow out those candles.

Opening presents

Such a happy guy

Last day of school

2011-06-10T18:13:00.000-07:00

Disney World Vacation

2011-06-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

We were so excited to take the kids to Disney World. Jer and I began planning for it this winter. Our plan was to wait and tell the kids when we woke them up to leave for the airport but we ended up telling them two weeks before we left. I think it was better that they knew so that we could prepare them for the adventure. I made all our reservations months in advance and couldn't wait to get there. I had not been there in 17 years and Jeremy and the kids were first timers.

Day 1

Here are the kids waiting for our 6:10 am flight

They did great on the airplane watching movies.

We arrived in Orlando!

The Disney Magical Express picked us up and brought us to our hotel. We chose to stay at one of the moderate resorts, Carabbean Beach, and loved it. It was very clean and pretty. The only part we didn't like was how large and spread out it was.

After checking in we headed out on a shuttle bus for Magic Kingdom. Unfortunately it was raining.

The rain didn't stop us from enjoying the rides.

We decided to go back to the hotel to get ready for our dinner in Downtown Disney. By then the rain had cleared out and we were all hungry. We had a reservation at Wolfgang Puck's restaurant but we got there to late. It turned out that Jeremy wasn't feeling well anyway so we ended up eating at Pollo Camperos.

Downtown Disney

Day 2

The next day we were up and ready for a fun filled day at Magic Kingdom. The rain had cleared and the ski was blue. Right when we arrived we got in line to meet Minnie, Mickey and a few princesses.

Next we enjoyed some rides.

And then we waited to meet a few more characters

It was hot

We had dinner reservations at Epcot so we left the Magic kingdom and headed to Epcot.

We missed our reservation again (it took us awhile to figure out the timing of the bus) and had a great dinner in Mexico.

Day 3

Hollywood Studios

Jeremy and Bubba were so excited about it being a "Star wars weekend." We got to meet a lot of characters .

Even Goofy and Donald were dressed up.

We made our dinner reservation that night at the Sci-Fi Drive-in Theater. The kids LOVED it.

Day 4

Breakfast with Mickey at Disney's Contemporary Resort

Back to Magic Kingdom for what ends up being a 15 hour day.

Bubba's first roller coaster

Lunch at Cinderella's Castle

We even met Rapunzel

Stick a fork in them they are done.

Day 5
Next up....Breakfast with Donald at Animal Kingdom

Lots more characters at Camp Minnie-Mickey

Digging for bones and the Tree of Life

Dino Land USA

On Safari

Rafiki's Planet Watch

While daddy and Goose are on a roller coaster Bubba and I take a walk through the rain forest

Finally some pool time

Day 6
Epcot Center

Day 7
Last day at Downtown Disney

Headed back home

Rainy Days

2011-05-21T17:35:00.000-07:00

Bubba Graduates from Preschool

2011-05-18T17:27:00.000-07:00

Singing his songs

Receiving his diploma

With his teachers

With his friend

Mom and Dad are so proud.

With Grandma Nancy

With Grandma and Papi

All he cared about was the cake

In his cap and gown

Baby Boy comes for an overnight.

2011-04-30T17:57:00.000-07:00

On Friday morning I picked up our former foster son for an overnight. He left us on March 7, 2011 to go live with his biological parents after two and a half years in our care. It wasn't an easy thing to see him go but we had no choice. His parents did work hard to get their lives on track so that they could be better parents to him and for that I give them credit. The problem is that it took them way to long. All that time they took to even start working their case plans their baby son was bonding and loving us. It's been about 9 weeks since he left, 9 weeks since he has been to our home. We did visit him three weeks after he left, but that time we just took him out for a few hours and then brought him home.

We were so excited when his mom called and asked if he could come for an overnight. We will take every opportunity to get to spend time with him. Going into it I was nervous. How would he act, what would he call us.....the list goes on. When I arrived at his home he literally ran and jumped into my arms but then leaned back and just looked at me. He lunged for his mom and gave her a kiss. I sensed his confusion or even his insecurity, which mommy should he be loyal to. I told him that he would only be coming to our house for one sleep and then I would bring him right back to his mommy. He was really excited to get in the car and we had a great time chatting the whole way home.

We met Bubba and Jeremy for lunch. As he entered the restaurant he ran up to them both but them seemed so unsure as to what he should do. Of course I encouraged him to hug them both and he did. It didn't take long before he and Bubba were running off to play. He still wasn't sure about Jeremy though. After lunch we drove to our home and about a block from the house he said "I'm home." Then when he actually entered the house he just said "wow" kind of in awe. He ran all over taking it all in. He wanted to go right to the toys in our attic. He was pretty agreeable until we went outside. Then he and Bubba began fighting over a toy and he got really aggressive. I started to see that the little boy that left here on March 7th is quickly fading away.

We picked Goose up from school and put on a movie he requested to watch. Then our family started arriving to see baby boy. We went to the park (not for long) and played and ate. At one point he and I were sitting together in the TV room and he just started yelling at me that he doesn't love me anymore, and he doesn't love Bubba or Goose either. I just told him that we loved him even if he doesn't love us. He told me that he was mad at me and that he was not a nice boy. My heart began to sink. This precious, wonderful, beautiful, smart, funny boy was in so much pain. He is obviously grieving the loss of our family and I fear he isn't getting any help. He is mad at us for letting him go (I don't blame him) and he doesn't understand why he doesn't live with us anymore.

Earlier in the day I noticed that he was struggling to call me anything so I asked him who I was, he responded he didn't know. I then told him that he could call me whatever he wanted, mommy or Kerry. About an hour later he was calling me mommy but by then time we called his mom at bedtime he decided I was Kerry. Hearing him call me that was so bitter sweet. I want him to be comfortable and so that's what's most important but losing that "mother" status still hurts. He never once said he wanted to go home and referred to his parents by their first names as well. He is just so confused.

Bedtime wasn't easy either he cried and pleaded so I would sleep with him (which I did until he fell asleep) but then I went back to my room. A few hours later he appeared to sleep with me and proceeded to wake up every couple of hours and call out "mommy." Who knows which one he was looking for, but having me tell him I was there allowed him to go back to sleep.

We went to Bubba's soccer game and more family came to see him. At times he just seemed sad (he was also tired.)

We ended up going out to lunch and he feel asleep on the way, he stayed asleep on my lap for awhile. It felt so good to hold him close. After lunch we took him back to our house to give him a haircut.

When it was time to leave he had a really hard time. When they got to his house he had an even harder time. We think it isn't a good idea for him to come here for an overnight. He really thought he was going to stay. I guess we will stick to taking him on day trips and then bringing him right home. My heart breaks for him and I pray that someone recognizes his hurt and gets him the help he needs.

I'll admit it... I'm an anxious mother.

2011-04-13T09:53:00.000-07:00

I have had so much on my mind lately (which is nothing new.) I have had some big decisions to make, decisions that will effect the entire family. I can never seem to live in the moment, instead always thinking about the future. I'm a total control freak and suffer from anxiety because of it. I've been reading a lot about anxiety in children due to issues with Goose and am feeling really convicted to look at my own anxiety issues and how they effect her. Again I am forced to look at myself first when trying to help Goose. It makes sense to think that a mother's anxiety level will directly effect her children. When you combine an anxious mother with an already anxious child, well you can figure out the rest.

Looking at Gooses' issues knowing that they are rooted in fear, loss, and anxiety really helps to clarify what we are doing with her. Therapy has been huge in helping her learn about herself, her body, and how she can fight her worries. It has also started to cause me to think about how my constant state of worry is absorbed by here. Yet another area of my life I need to work on. I find it so interesting how parenting has really caused me to look inside myself time after time only to find out I don't like what I see. But....it has also allowed me to see clearly areas I need to work on and I have been able to change.

God tells us over and over in scripture not to worry, it's even considered sinful behavior because it separates us from God and consumes us. Instead of trusting in our Almighty Father we believe that we are in control and take upon ourselves what is not ours to carry. How I long to be able to truly allow God to "carry my yoke." I tell myself all the time that worrying will not change anything only actions will. Taking action is always easier said then done, it takes a termendous amount of disicplin. I am not a disiciplined person.

I have decided that I'm not going to babysit in the fall. Being home all day everyday unable to go anywhere or do anything has been extremely stifling. It's not at all like being home with your own kids. I have missed out on being able to help out in Gooses classroom this year and it has really bothered me. Looking back at our decision to have me stay home in the first place was so that I could be there for my kids. As they enter school being there for them changes. What once was a job of making sure they napped everyday and learned all the developmentally appropriate skills needed for preschool has now changed into helping with homework and being involved at their school. Bubba is going to kindergarten next year and I really want to be able to help out in his class, chaperon field trips, and get to know his friends and their parents. I feel good about this decision but it doesn't come without sacrifice. The money I am earning as a daycare provider has been a big help and next year I was going to make double what I'm making now. That being said I believe the grater value is in be their for our kids.

We are finally to a place where I will be able to devote all my attention to the two kids God has blessed us with. Foster care is on hold, adopting again is on hold, babysitting is on hold, life may actually be slowing down. Of course this change, this new life pace brings its own set of worries. Will I be able to be disciplined enough to not go shopping all the time with my new found freedom? Will I find things to do with my time that doesn't involve the kids (does that kind of time even exists?) Will I become too consumed with Goose and Bubba's eduction, health, emotional and spiritual well being to the point where it becomes unhealthy for any of us? Will I sit around longing to grow our family and make rash decisions that are not in our families best interest right now? Only God knows, but I guess it's good that I'm aware of all the possible things I may fall prey to. My prayer will be that God grant me all the tools necessary to stand guard against these pitfalls so that I am not anxious about tomorrow but instead living for today. I am a work in progress.

A Play date with Jake

2011-04-12T10:39:00.000-07:00

Playing Wii.

Watching a movie

Eating lunch

Noodle wars

Wrestling

Buddies

Spring!

2011-04-11T07:30:00.000-07:00

Bike ridding.

Cooking on the grill.

Roasting marshmallows.

Brookfield Zoo

Love the butterfly flowers.

White Sox boys.

We ran into one of our former foster children at the zoo. He is almost 3 and so cute.

In the Swamp Zoo, always her favorite.

First Grade Open House

2011-04-08T13:11:00.000-07:00

Lake Geneva getaway

2011-04-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

For Valentines day Jeremy gave me an overnight getaway at the...

Where we stayed

A wonderful romantic surprise.

Trying to look cute. Enjoying the champaign.

Our steak dinners at The Chop House

hers

his

Spending the day with Baby Boy

2011-03-27T15:46:00.000-07:00

We were able to spend the day with Baby Boy yesterday. He has been back with his parents for three weeks now so we were so glad to see him. We waited to tell Goose and Bubba about our visit until Saturday morning because we wanted to make sure everything was a go but also so that I didn't have to hear "are we going to see Baby boy today?" every five seconds. I am so grateful that his mom is willing to let us see him and spend time with him. We had a great day together hanging out at Gurnee Mills Mall and then McDonald's for dinner. When we dropped him off his parents said we could come see him anytime and hopefully soon we could have him for an over night.

Giving Goose some lovin.

Look at that smile.

Sitting in a boat on land.

Playing at Bass Pro Shops

Eating lunch at Ruby Tuesdays. He ordered fries.

Serpent Safari

We took him to McDonald's to play. He went right up to Ronald, kissed him and told him "I love you."

It's Movie Night

2011-03-18T17:11:00.000-07:00

Every Friday night is "movie" night for the kids. For whatever reason they love being able to watch a movie on Friday night even though we generally let them watch movies all the time. I set up specific blankets and pillows and each kid brings down "guys" from their beds and voila, it's movie night.

Bubba asks about movie night all week, almost everyday at some point he will ask one of us "is it movie night?" We have a calendar on our wall that shows all the activities for the week (set up so Goose feels more secure about what is going on) but Bubba still asks almost everyday. They each get a bowl of popcorn and a drink (that they get to have in the family room) which might be what they love best of all. The picture below shows them starting the movie and they will most likely be in that same positions when the movie ends. As you can see Bubba takes this very serious!

Spring is in the air.

2011-03-18T16:13:00.000-07:00

Bubba riding his bike

Goose riding and skating

Happy St. Patricks Day!

2011-03-18T16:04:00.000-07:00

On St. Patrick's Day everyone is a little Irish, including our Irish by adoption Guatemalans.

He's leaving

2011-03-04T18:26:00.000-08:00

This is our last weekend with our foster son. For so long it seemed this day wouldn't come. I can hardly believe that the journey is almost over. He returned to us today at 5:00 p.m. to spend his last weekend before court on Monday, where he will most likely go back to his parents permanently. We always knew that this is how the journey might end but for so long prayed that it wouldn't end this way. I pray that this precious boy will be okay and that his parents will take care of him like he deserves.

He arrived this evening noticeably sick, at least I noticed. His voice is horse and he sounds nasally. I asked his case worker if he is sick. She explained that he just had a little cold and some chest congestion but mom reported no fever. This has been coming on for a few weeks so I'm not surprised that he is sick. I am surprised....no disappointed and saddened to have taken his temperature not 10 mins. after his arrival to find he has a fever of 100.3 (as I suspected.) I then checked his right ear (the one that gets infected every time he is sick and causes him so much pain) to see that he does have a build up of drainage. So within 20 minutes of being in my care I know that he needs some advil, a doctors visit and most likely and antibiotic because these little "colds" don't just go away for him. During dinner he started to cough and it was clear to me that he may have bronchitis. I don't believe that this all developed on the one hour car ride home. It just makes me ill, literally. Why hasn't she taken him to the doctor? So this begins our last weekend together, a sobering reminder of what kind of life he is going to lead.

We are having a birthday party for him, a small get together with family to celebrate his 3rd birthday but also to celebrate the 2 and a half year he has been a part of this family. Jeremy's making him a Thomas cake and presents have been wrapped especially for him. Extra clothes have been purchased and a supply of pull ups are ready to go. Even at the end I want to hang on so badly. I want to prepare him for what is about to happen but there is no preparation for losing your mommy and daddy, for the second time in three years. Where once there was a baby boy who learned to cuddle and reach for the security of his mama now there is a boy who pulls away from her embrace. He doesn't look me in the eyes and won't let me hold him, why should he.... how can i be trusted?

I don't know what it's going to be like on Tuesday morning, knowing he isn't coming back. Or Friday afternoon around 1:45 p.m. when the car is suppose to pull into the drive way for his weekend visit. Maybe it will hit right away or maybe it will take time. Already many traces of him are gone. How will I ever look at Thomas stuff again. How will I walk through his room on the way to the attic. What won't remind me of him? A whole little life, a little person I have loved and mothered for 2 and a half years just gone. I have pictures and videos and memories and no one will ever take those away.

Looking back on the memory of

The dance we shared beneath the stars above

For a moment all the world was right

How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know

The way it all would end the way it all would go

Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain

But I'd of had to miss the dance

Toy Story 3 on Ice

2011-02-14T13:12:00.000-08:00

The kids with characters

A shot with the ice behind him. He looks like I'm gonna throw him over the ledge.

Goose chose the binoculars.

Bubba's Buzz Lightyear sword.

While at the United Center Jeremy got a few other pictures of the kids.

Lights on the ice.

Mrs. Potato Head

Zurg!

Party time!

2011-02-06T08:24:00.000-08:00

Swimming

Eating pizza

Daddy made this out of cupcakes. Goose is such a lucky girl.

A shot with her old mom and pops.

Goose and Uncle Willy and Grandma Nancy

Singing "Happy Birthday" with her friends.

Singing "Happy Birthday" for the 3rd time.

The blizzard of 2011

2011-02-04T07:26:00.000-08:00

The beginning

before

after

before

after

The kids playing in it.

Beginning to shovel out

Goose's swing in our front yard.

4-5 foot drifts

Our patio table

This is the only spot I was able to shovel.

The snowblower is working and the snow removal has begin.

Celebrating

2011-02-01T18:16:00.000-08:00

Opening presents from Mom and Dad.

Goose has quite and extensive rock collection so we thought this would be the perfect gift.

Figuring out how this thing works.

This is gonna take awhile.

Goose also has a huge bag of marbles. We figured racing them would be a lot of fun.

The first time we sang "happy birthday" to her.

Goose turns 7 a look back at the past

2011-02-01T09:36:00.000-08:00

Newborn

One year old

Two years old

Three years old

Four years old

Five years old

Six years old

Here she is this morning a big seven year old!

Home 4 years!

2011-01-24T14:44:00.000-08:00

At the airport 4 years ago.

Meeting the family. He was 7 months and 8 days old.

And here he is today!

Opening a few gifts.

She's getting to big!

2011-01-18T18:07:00.000-08:00

I can't believe she was ever this small.

And here she is today just shy of 7 years old.

She came to the table for snack with her ipod blaring Hannah Montana too cool to talk to us.

2011-01-17T14:04:00.000-08:00

Hair Cut by Daddy

Not to bad.

The new year

2011-01-13T10:45:00.000-08:00

After 4 months of school under their belts my kids are finally settling in. Bubba is more social at school and hasn't complained in awhile that he doesn't want to go. I have been signing him up for special classes after school. Some are sports related and some have a theme such as "super heroes." He seems to really like them and it has given him an opportunity to work on his friendships. Goose hasn't had a rage in a few weeks which tells me that she is finally able to handle the stress of the school day. The part that scares me is that we are going to go through this with her each year. I really thought Christmas break was going to be a nightmare for her. So much unstructured time as well as all the excitement of the season is a recipe for disaster for a kid with her issues. But....it went pretty well. I did sign her up for a few camp days to break up the monotony and we were really busy, but I feared all the "newness" to her schedule would be too overwhelming. Going back to school after the break has been relatively smooth. She is better able to express her distress in having to be at school all day away from me. I am finding that her ability to verbalize her fears and worries are really making a difference in her behaviors (thank God!) Now reality sets in again and we are back to our routine.

Baby boy has transitioned into staying with his parents during the week and us on the weekends. We learned this week that this will go on until March 7th (or longer) depending on the judge. I believe that he will be sent home permanently on that date. Now the task of preparing Goose and Bubba for the finality of it all is bearing down on us. I really just want it all to be over. I wish it could be like ripping off a band-aid, the pain is intense but it's over quick. The realness of not having him around for an extended amount of time has been haunting. At the same time caring for two kids who are growing in their independence from me has been nice too. Then the guilt sets in. What kind of mother am I that I can even enjoy some of the peace that is setting in. I guess the answer is, a real one. I keep looking ahead, to when he's gone, to the summer, to next fall. That's all I can do. I have to keep living. I am looking forward to getting back to a more peaceful existence (if that's at all possible.) I'm not sure what doors are going to open for our family but I do believe that when God closes one door he does open another. In the new year I want to make some real changes in my life and in my relationships. Maybe the door being opened is that of time; time to work on my relationship with Christ and time to work on my relationships with others.

Christmas presents in action....

2011-01-03T16:42:00.000-08:00

Bubba and his crayon maker

Melting and waiting.

His I'm tired of waiting face.

All melted and ready to be poured into the mold.

After they are done in the machine they have to sit in the mold for 10 minutes.

Getting the crayons out of the mold.

See my crayon.

Coloring with the finished product.

Making sour candy

Boiling until it gets to 300 degrees.

Pouring it into it's mold.

The finished product.

Goose enjoying the candy.

Bubba enjoying the sour candy

Goose planting her carnivorous plants.

Pushing down the peet moss.

It all began with one little rock.

Goose putting in more rocks.

The rocks were suppose to look like a river so daddy fixed them a bit.

Goose is watching and taking note I'm sure.

Daddy putting in the seeds.

All set and ready to grow!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-02T13:45:00.000-08:00

This year we went to Timber Ridge Lodge in Lake Geneva WI for New Years Eve. My parents very graciously took our family for some fun at the water park and on the slopes.

On our way up we stopped at the Brat Stop

Upon entering this is what we saw.

At the water park

Our NYE dinner was at the Grand Cafe. It was buffet style and featured crab legs, roast beef, salmon, shrimp, cheeses, salads and desserts. It was an amazing spread. The kids both tried crab meat for the first time and loved it.

Bubba with his roast beef.

Grandma, Papi and Goose

A family shot

We walked around the Grand Geneva to see all the decorations. It was beautiful. Here is Goose in front of the display for the spa. We thought it was so "her."

Bubba in front of a Sponge Bob display.

Santa on a golf cart

Timber Ridge had a NYE party geared for families. The party started at 7:30 in the water park. They had a D.J. and games while the kids swam and had a blast. Then at 11 p.m. they had a beach ball drop and sparkling juice toast. The kids had so much fun. Bubba hardly made it to 11 but Goose was ready to party in the new year.

Grandma and Papi rockin in the new year

The beach balls

On NYD the kids went skiing for the first time. It was freezing out so we weren't sure how it was going to go. The lesson was for an hour and a half. Bubba did awesome. He stayed the whole time and went down the hill at least 4 times.

Goose didn't like it as much so she came in after going down the hill one time.

It was a great weekend and a great way to ring in 2011! The kids tried new things and had a blast swimming. Goose tried clams at dinner New Years day and really enjoyed them (the girl has great taste.) Bubba went down a pretty big water slide for the first time and loved it. Both kids tried skiing and we were so proud of both of them. Thanks grandma and papi for a great weekend get away!

Christmas 2010

2010-12-26T17:38:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve

Feeding the reindeer.

Leaving Santa cookies.

Santa has arrived.

Christmas Morning

Opening presents

This is what he asked Santa for. We didn't even know he liked Iron Man.

Which game will she play first?

Here she is watching the instructional DVD for her new Fushigi.

Holiday Happenings

2010-12-22T18:07:00.000-08:00

A Family Wedding

The kids with Grandma Nancy

On the dance floor with their cousins.

Poor Bubba wasn't feeling well and fell asleep right after dinner.

Christmas with Grandma and Papi

More Thomas trains!

Goose loves marbles.

What a precious boy.

smiling at his Thomas stuff

Christmas at Uncle Benny's

Opening a gift from grandma Nancy

Daddy explaining to Bubba the importance of the game.

showing his how to swing

This gift was fro GiGi and she LOVES it.

A girl can not have enough hair extensions.

Bob, Sandy, Grant and Mary (Tia)

Uncle Bridget, Goose and Uncle Willy

This bear poops jelly beans!

Thanks Uncle Benny!

Bubba and grandma Nancy

More Thomas trains from uncle Benny

Baby boy was not happy his shirt was off but he threw up all over it so it was in the dryer.

By the look on my face you'd think these were for me....nope.

So cute!

Bubba is really into StarWars.

more Thomas trains.....

The shirts say it all.

Bridget didn't get enough of these.

Christmas with just us

Thomas trains once again

We let Goose and Bubba open one gift too.

A boy and his trains.

Gingerbread House

2010-12-16T14:48:00.000-08:00

Goose made this today at her class holiday party.

Video of Bubba's Open House

2010-12-15T10:37:00.000-08:00

An update on weekend visits.

2010-12-14T11:27:00.000-08:00

Baby boy has gone on two weekend visits and seems to be doing really well. This past weekend I sent him off with an ear infection (which killed me to do) but I had no choice. All I could do was pray that his parents followed all the instructions and gave him his medicine. It appears that they did although his ear is still draining puss and should be clearing up by now. Time just seems to be moving so fast. In two weeks we will celebrate Christmas without him. I always think I'm doing okay, I figure that when it's all said and done then I'll cry. Right now I'm just so sad. I'm trying to be confident that he will be well cared for. After this weekend I am not as confident and it just breaks my heart for him. As we move along with his weekend visits I feel less and less like his mom. I guess that's how it is suppose to go and I only hope that his mom is beginning to feel more like his mom. Goose and Bubba are doing okay too but I know once we get to that point where we have to answer the question of "when is ******* coming home?" with, "he's not," it's really going to hit home.

2010-12-13T17:12:00.000-08:00

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth (and the third one next to them.)

Look at that smile. He was teasing his sister at breakfast.

At Bubba's Christmas Open House the kids both won goldfish. They received a ticket to pick up their "free" goldfish at a local pet store. So on Saturday morning Jeremy took them to pick out a fish and a bowl and some rocks.....the "free" goldfish ended up costing $40.

Here is Bubba feeding his fish Yoda.

Every time I tell him to smile this is how his eyes look.

And here is Goose feeding her fish Sparkle.

In this picture you can see the background she made so her fish would feel more like it was in it's natural habitat.

Bubba's Open House

2010-12-10T18:21:00.000-08:00

Two of the most beautiful kids in the world!

I just love how Goose is starting to pose.

Bubba had a little holiday program at his preschool on Friday night. They sang three songs. One about Santa, one about Hanukkah, and one about Kwanzaa. I'm still waiting to hear the one about baby Jesus.

Here he is walking in.

Singing his little heart out!

He really was singing, I was amazed.

Now with some hand movements.

I forgot they did sing a fourth song, but it was Jingle Bells.

Another opportunity for the kids to see "Santa." Bubba wanted to see him but had no interest in sitting on his lap. The kids each asked for one gift.

Making Reindeer food.

I only posted this one because I look decent. Bubba is featuring his "close your eyes smile."

Making funny faces with daddy.

And last but not least here is Goose posing for the camera. Could she be any cuter?

SNOW

2010-12-04T11:52:00.000-08:00

Zoo Lights

2010-12-03T19:24:00.000-08:00

Putting up our tree....and other events

2010-12-01T17:28:00.000-08:00

Either the tree is getting smaller or the kids are getting bigger.

Not sure what he is holding. I think it might be a tire.

Love those smiles!

All I want for Christmas.

This year baby boy will be spending Christmas with his parents. Although this is really sad for us we know they will be thrilled to get to wake up Christmas morning with him. This will be their first Christmas together.

As baby boy leaves we will be entering into a new season in our lives. After 10 years of marriage and parenting 8 kids in 6+ years we figure it's about time we get out of debt and start thinking about work that needs to be done on our house. This lead me to pursue an opportunity to contribute financially to our family while still being able to stay home with Goose and Bubba. On Monday I started baby sitting for a wonderful 5 month old baby boy.

We have no idea what 2011 will have in store for us but we look forward to all it will have to offer.

Transitions

2010-11-29T08:16:00.000-08:00

Baby boy has been doing over nights with his parents for 4 weeks now and this Friday he will be going on his first weekend visit. He has been doing remarkably well so far. It's so hard to put into words that a two and a half year old can some what understand what is going on. But I can always put into words how much he is loved. I took some time to tell him today that his parents haven been working really hard so that he can live with them again, explaining how much they love him and how excited they are to be getting him back. His response was "oh, okay mommy." I don't really believe he understands but at least I'm planting the seeds. Each week he returns from his overnight he is crabby and clingy (which is to be expected) but overall he seems to jump right back into his routine. It all seems to be moving so fast, I can't believe that we are already starting weekend visits. My constant prayer is that his parents will be successful, that they will work hard each day to be the best parents they can be. That's all any of us can do. Baby boy has had a great start....sometimes I think it won't matter. Now that we are moving along in the process I do see how all that we have given him is helping. During this Christmas season I am going to focus on the "light in the darkness." Returning a child that we have loved and cared for for over two years, one we hoped to adopt and have forever, is nothing but darkness. The light that will shine through this darkness will only be found in our savior who is working all things for the good of his people.

More celebrating....maybe I'm learning?

2010-11-15T10:10:00.000-08:00

This past weekend was a whirl wind. I celebrated my birthday on Thursday (no I'm not going to say how old I am) and it turned into a 4 day event. Hey, I'm not complaining. I ate at some of my favorite (and expensive) restaurants and got to go out without the kids on Friday and Saturday night. On Sunday I went to see the Lion King with my mom and Goose. It was altogether a wonderful birthday. All this time spent away from my kids is both a blessing and a curse. I never know how Goose will react the next day after I wasn't there to put her to bed. This weekend she went to bed two nights in a row with out her mommy. I'm glad to report that she seemed to do really well. On Sunday morning she woke up in high gear, jumping all around in anticipation about going to see the Lion King with my mom and I. I wasn't sure how she was going to do but this time I felt more prepared. This time I set the expectation low and assumed the worse. On the way to church the baby talk started so I knew the disregulation was in full affect. I must admit that I did really well. I remained patient and calm despite my annoyance. Goose was talking incessantly and would not stop moving. She kept it together pretty well other then seeming bored and playing with her seat. Oh yeah, and wanting me to carry her like she was a toddler or infant (which I did.) On the way home she was pretty quiet, she may have even fallen asleep. Next was dinner out with my parents. The baby talk started again and she started to complain that everything hurt. I already began planning what would happen when we got home. Usually we would get them right into the bath/shower and begin the bedtime routine. I knew this wasn't going to work for Goose so I decided that as soon as we got home I would take her up to her room to read and just relax together. She often expresses the need for "mommy time" so I guessed that she really needed me to help her regulate again. During dinner she did choose to come sit on my lap, wanting me to hold her and love on her. I was glad to do it. I'm so happy that instead of acting naughty she is willing to come to me and let me help her calm. At the same time it's disturbing that my almost seven year old acts younger then my two and a half year old sometimes. Her emotional age can sometimes revert back to infancy. When we got home, Jeremy took care of the boys and I took Goose to her room. She happily picked out books and she and I sat on her bed looking at her books until I felt she was ready to take her shower. I can't believe it but it worked. After about a half hour she was ready to take her shower and then even asked to read to her dad (that never happens.) She went to bed without a fight, no melt down, no crying, no screaming. Two very happy parents.

Celebrating the small stuff

2010-11-13T09:34:00.000-08:00

At my adoption support group we talked about celebrating the small victories with our kids. I'm usually too hard on myself and at times too hard on my daughter and our situation. I never take the time to celebrate the "small stuff." We have been having daily struggles, sometimes they are manageable sometimes they get out of control, but two nights ago we had a victory. After the kids bathe in the evening we usually read books. Most of the time they are read to in their room by either me or my husband. But on this occasion he was leaving for a meeting at church so I was in charge of bedtime. I decided to read to the kids downstairs and so I asked them each to choose some books and meet me on the couch. This seems like a reasonable request...... but not at our house, not with our kid. Bubba shows up right away with his four books, but no Goose. So I ask Bubba where she is and he informs me that she isn't coming. I then seek her out to find out what's up. It turns out she needs my help choosing books. This is where the fun begins, when my decision to climb the stairs for the 100th time that day has a much greater impact then one would think. I also consider the fact that Bubba is sitting there waiting for me to read and even if I go help Goose choose her books it could turn ugly, there are never any guaranties. So this time I tell her she can choose her books on her own and I return to read to Bubba. Moments later Goose enters the room crying, it has turned ugly. I asked her what the problem was and this was her response: "you don't love me or care about me at all because you won't help me choose books." Aha the sweet sound of victory! She was able to tell me how she was feeling! Instead of just screaming and growling and altogether acting like a wild animal, she used her words. For Goose my love for her is always in question. My heart aches for my precious daughter who truly questions her worth. We have our work cut out for us, in the mean time I'm going to celebrate this victory.

Disregulation

2010-11-09T06:35:00.000-08:00

This is a word I have come to know on a daily basis. It's a buzz word of sorts in the "attachment" community, a common occurrence for children who have experienced trauma or neglect. My child is often disregulated. The signs have become easy to recognize, jumping instead of walking, baby talk, asking constant questions, and my favorite, repeatedly calling me "mama" in the whiniest voice she can muster. The list goes on. When she becomes disregulated it's my job to help her regulate again. This isn't something she can do on her own yet, she needs me there to help her through. During many of her disregulated states she will go into a rage for no apparent reason (although I'm suppose to know what set her off.) Again it's my job to help her calm and let her know that she is safe and loved. This cycle has become her life, our life. The hardest part for me is staying regulated myself. After weeks of many ups and downs in my daughter's "mood" I start to unravel. But how am I going to help her regulate if I'm not regulated? And then the guilt sets in. When she needs me the most I'm not "there" for her. This past week I have been feeling very dis regulated. I want so much to be the mom she needs me to be all of the time, not just some of the time. My child really does have issues with feeling worthy enough of love. I see that now and it breaks my heart. When I become disregulated I'm distant and irritable which for her just solidifies the internal belief that she isn't worthy of my love. Talk about feeling like a bad mom. I pray that over time she will come to believe that she is worthy of love. I know it will take time, maybe years of consistent parenting before it all starts to sink in. My greatest fear is that it won't sink in. The road to becoming a mommy was filled with such joy for me but the road to becoming my daughter started out so sad for her. Two different roads winding through this life, one day I hope our roads will meet.

The Circus

2010-11-08T06:39:00.000-08:00

Waiting for the show to start

On the way to the bathroom

The elephants were my favorite part. I think there were like 8 or so and one was a baby, so cute.

pick one and go with it

2010-11-04T13:41:00.000-07:00

As I have been re-reading all my books on parenting I'm becoming more confused and less ready to handle the day to day of raising my kids. There are so many theories out there, some say to ignore the behavior while others say to address it head on. The reality is that parenting is a mix of many styles and theories all thrown together to fit the individual. What I need to do is pick a style that I think most consistently will work for my kids and go with it knowing that it won't always work. I need to try it over a period of weeks, maybe months, and see if we have any changes in behaviors. So that is what I'm going to do.

Baby boy goes on his first over night

2010-11-01T08:20:00.000-07:00

Things have been really stressful the past few weeks. Our foster son is beginning his transition back to his birth parents and tomorrow we will send him off for his first over night. This past weekend we met his parents at McDonald's for a visit. Our hope is that by forming a relationship with his biological family we will be able to make his transition a little easier. They were really gracious and even invited us to their home. It was really great for Goose and Bubba to be able to see where he will be living. This was the first time they met baby boy's parents. We have been talking about them for over two years and even though they have seen pictures I'm sure it was good for them to meet them in person. Baby boy definitely had a hard time having both of his "mommy's" around at the same time. It's so obvious that he is really confused and even angry. My heart breaks for him.

His transition has been hitting Goose really hard (as we knew it would.) She already has issues with loss and abandonment in her life, losing a brother is just another loss she will have to overcome. It kills me everyday that I put her in this situation. If I only knew then what I know now maybe we would have never decided to foster. What we meant for good has only caused her pain and anxiety. We can only move forward from here. The idea of baby boy leaving us to go back and live with his birth parents has brought up a lot of emotions about her birth mother. She tells us she misses her and wants to one day return to Guatemala to meet her. What big emotions for such a little girl. We have been talking about baby boys departure on a daily basis, always reinforcing that they will never be leaving and that adoption is forever. When he is not around we talk about how this is what it will be like when baby boy is gone. The idea is for the kids to connect with what that feels like. It's sad not having him around. We may see things that remind us of him, and that will make us sad and happy all at the same time.

In therapy we are practicing what it will be like the day he leaves for good. Through play we can act out what we might say on that day and how we might feel. This has been a really good way to see what Goose is really thinking. While this is all going on it's our job to make this loss look like it's the best thing in the world. We want Baby boy to see this as a good thing, a positive not a negative. We want out kids to be happy for baby boy. We are playing up how wonderful this is and how happy his parents are to be getting him back. I'm pretty sure this is the most confusing part for Goose. If this is such a good thing for baby boy to be going back to his birth parents then why wouldn't it be a good thing for her to go back to her birth parents? I have a feeling that question is coming soon. I pray I have the wisdom to answer it.

happy halloween

2010-10-31T17:24:00.000-07:00