Celebrating the small stuff

At my adoption support group we talked about celebrating the small victories with our kids.  I'm usually too hard on myself and at times too hard on my daughter and our situation.  I never take the time to celebrate the "small stuff."  We have been having daily struggles, sometimes they are manageable sometimes they get out of control, but two nights ago we had a victory.  After the kids bathe in the evening we usually read books.  Most of the time they are read to in their room by either me or my husband.  But on this occasion he was leaving for a meeting at church so I was in charge of bedtime.  I decided to read to the kids downstairs and so I asked them each to choose some books and meet me on the couch.  This seems like a reasonable request...... but not at our house, not with our kid.  Bubba shows up right away with his four books, but no Goose.  So I ask Bubba where she is and he informs me that she isn't coming.  I then seek her out to find out what's up.  It turns out she needs my help choosing books.  This is where the fun begins, when my decision to climb the stairs for the 100th time that day has a much greater impact then one would think.  I also consider the fact that Bubba is sitting there waiting for me to read and even if I go help Goose choose her books it could turn ugly, there are never any guaranties.   So this time I tell her she can choose her books on her own and I return to read to Bubba.  Moments later Goose enters the room crying, it has turned ugly.  I asked her what the problem was and this was her response: "you don't love me or care about me at all because you won't help me choose books."  Aha the sweet sound of victory! She was able to tell me how she was feeling!  Instead of just screaming and growling and altogether acting like a wild animal, she used her words.  For Goose my love for her is always in question.  My heart aches for my precious daughter who truly questions her worth.  We have our work cut out for us, in the mean time I'm going to celebrate this victory.